I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
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