What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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