This girl is more easily done than said...
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
