I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
