HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
