they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
