Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
