No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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