Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He better not be in your backpack
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
