And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Someone stole a lamp last night.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
