I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
