I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize