and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
