i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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