Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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