The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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