So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
