I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
