Why does Corona taste like a burp?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
