Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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