You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
