I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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