its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
