I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
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