see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
