the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Everyone says I win the strip club
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Im part way to drunk.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
