So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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