i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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