She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
