So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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