fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
