I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
