girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
