Me too!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Just pee around me
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
