i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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