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Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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