pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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