dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
