so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
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Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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