then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
i out mim tonsoeep
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize