she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
