All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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