A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
