So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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