I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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