Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
