sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
