I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
