I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
