Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice

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(954): View more from Florida

everyone is single if you try hard enough

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(479): View more from Arkansas

How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.

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(718): View more from New York

no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(603): View more from New Hampshire

I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot

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(813): View more from Florida

! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup

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(848): View more from New Jersey

Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is

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