So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
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he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
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It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.