is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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