im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?