My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting