What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays