Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job http://tfl.nu/iix6
  Replies (27) Good night (5030) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS. http://tfl.nu/3g6q
  Replies (14) Good night (815) Bad night (6268)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top http://tfl.nu/zi79
  Replies (257) Good night (8395) Bad night (2407)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight. http://tfl.nu/dfco
  Replies (33) Good night (1809) Bad night (4877)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana. http://tfl.nu/oxo3
  Replies (9) Good night (4811) Bad night (1094)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister http://tfl.nu/d8wy
  Replies (13) Good night (3847) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right? http://tfl.nu/k79j
  Replies (2) Good night (3160) Bad night (1250)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities. http://tfl.nu/947a
  Replies (12) Good night (2394) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila. http://tfl.nu/6g2r
  Replies (25) Good night (2100) Bad night (1247)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June http://tfl.nu/abqo
  Replies (16) Good night (1913) Bad night (1886)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone http://tfl.nu/1xod
  Replies (6) Good night (660) Bad night (960)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening. http://tfl.nu/i72z
  Replies (3) Good night (542) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean? http://tfl.nu/m097
  Replies (2) Good night (745) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill... http://tfl.nu/3r4q
  Replies (5) Good night (837) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that. http://tfl.nu/01r4
  Replies (11) Good night (676) Bad night (401)

Randomize