Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
