How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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