So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
please come you make the beer taste better
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
