I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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