you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
