they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
