Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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