i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize