One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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