I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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