Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
