He disabled his match.com account in front of me
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
