I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
