(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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