i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
