I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
