you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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